Do you let your husband influence your style?
I’m having a bit of a style dilemma. When I first had my hair cropped (over a year ago now, I can hardly believe it) I bought a few different hair dyes, thinking it would be a great opportunity to experiment with different colours. However, I then started applying for jobs and decided that ‘unconventional’ probably wasn’t the best look for trying to prove my dependability in a competitive job market. Which means that there’s been a platinum blonde hair dye sitting in the bathroom cabinet for almost a year.
A couple of weeks ago, Chris got a new job, and with my Phoenix business going well I’m off the job market (unless I see the perfect part-time vacancy, but as I’m not even looking at the moment, it’s not likely). So I looked again at the peroxide hair dye – tonight I even opened it up and read the instructions (you have to leave it on for 45 minutes while it ‘gently’ strips the pigment from your hair – it’s hardcore!). I’m keen to give it a go, but there’s something putting me off… Chris isn’t keen. He’s not sure it’ll look good, likes my hair the way it is…
He told me the other day that he prefers it a bit longer – as in longish crop, the way it is now after too many weeks regrowth. So now I’m wondering whether to get my usual short crop next time I’m at the hairdresser, or keep a bit of length and get the style neatened up. Personally I prefer the full-on crop.
In a way I’m cross with myself for taking his views into account. Partly it’s pragmatic – I know from experience that he’s wary of change, but tends to like the outcome when I take the plunge. If I’d listened to him I’d probably never have gone for a short crop in the first place, but now he prefers it to the long hair (I think!). But also, I feel that I’m an individual, it should be totally up to me what I do with my hair.
On the other hand, I offer my opinion on his looks and appreciate when he takes it into account: shaving, keeping his hair short-ish – so maybe I’m operating a double-standard here?
What do you think? Do you take account of your partners views when deciding what to wear or what to do with your hair?
I definitely take my husband’s view into account. When he met me I had short, straight hair (my hair is naturally curly). Then I shaved half my head. Then I shaved all my hair off. Then we started going out. He asked me to grow my hair and I have. It’s really long now. I think I like it but every now and then I feel like doing something different with it again. But like Chris, he’s wary of change. So when I even suggest putting red henna in it, he’s not keen. I’ve even mentioned dreading it, which he definitely doesn’t like. On one hand, I feel like I should feel free to do what I like. It is my appearance, after all. On the other, I do feel like I “owe” him some consideration, especially since he feels more strongly about the issue than I do. I probably just want a change because of post-partum hair loss, after all.
I didn’t really have postpartum hair loss… I think it was postpartum identity loss that motivated my current crop!
Really interesting comments, thanks.
Oh it’s so difficult! I had bright red hair for a year when I went back to work after having T. My husband didn’t say anything until I grew it out and cut it short and then told me how much better I looked with short, natural hair. Safe to say I haven’t felt an urge to dye it again since! You’ve got to remember though, it’s only hair, if it looks awful it grows out again. And maybe if you don’t do it, you’ll keep wondering… x
Exactly, it’s only hair – I’m thinking now’s a good time to do it, as it’ll take a few months at most for it all to grow out with the length of hair I have at the moment. Tempted…
not that my OH ever complement me or takes notice of how i look anymore, he has commented on my appearance in the past. when i had a fringe – which I and several people always said looked nice on me – he didn’t like it told me it made me look older!! when i used to have my hair at jaw length in a bob he would say that i should grow it. now i am growing it, he says oh i think you should get it cut!!! bloody hell man make your mind up!! anyway, i don’t really listen to him as I change my hair when I want to but it would be nice if he liked it sometimes!! and told me so. men!!
and relaaaaaax
xx